Random Thoughts

Life Changing Decisions

“You write your life story by the choices you make.  You never know if they have been a mistake.  Those moments of decision are so difficult.” ~ Hellen Mirren

forked road

Several weeks ago, I made a decision to pursue a job that I enjoy.  My current employer had an opening, so I applied for a transfer hoping to stay with the same company.

My boss denied it.

Being the tenacious person I am, I followed the chain of command and appealed to her boss, the CEO.  I wrote a letter detailing my desire to remain with the company while pursuing a different path, offered to take a 50% cut in pay, and found my own replacement in a staff member already employed.

He denied it, choosing to support my boss in her decision.

I decided to actively pursue a position elsewhere.  I did not attend all the hours of  training and achieve the certifications as well as work to obtain a 4.0 GPA in my last two degrees to remain in a position where I feel that I am spinning my wheels.  Unfortunately, positions in my area are either few and far between, OR I am passed over when the recruiter sees my level of education and assumes my salary requirement cannot be met.

This past week, as I said my daily prayers, I asked for a spirit of thankfulness.  Not just because it is almost Thanksgiving, but because I was finding myself increasingly angry. I do not like being angry, it’s not pleasant . . . it uses energy that I don’t want to waste.  Even this morning, I prayed for the ability to remain thankful in my current position as long as I needed to be there until I can find a different position.  Not that I planned on stopping my search, but I honestly believe that God has plans for each one of us and knowing my heart, HE also has the perfect job in mind for me.

I recently received an e-mail from Dan Miller of 48 Days to the Job You Love.  The following list was included in the e-mail.  Of the ten items listed, I have been experiencing at least eight of these in the past three weeks:

Top 10 Ways To Know When To Leave a Job

  • Your opinions don’t count
  • You are as tired when you get up as when you went to bed
  • Respect is lacking
  • You’ve lost your sense of purpose
  • Communication has broken down
  • You have serious doubts about your ability to make a difference
  • You find yourself avoiding others at work
  • You are chronically impatient with everyone
  • You find yourself starting to dread Monday morning on Saturday afternoon
  • The work or product does not line up with your values

Pan ahead to the present day —

This week, I have been in one of my favorite locations — Anniston, Alabama.  Home to the DHS Center for Domestic Preparedness.  This has been my ninth time coming here for training.  Once-in-a-lifetime type of training that you can get nowhere else in the U.S.  I love being here.  I feel energized and excited, surrounded by people in like positions with similar passions for emergency services and emergency management as well as response and mitigation activities.  The staff is wonderful, the teachers are friendly and engaging and even the cooks and housekeeping staff do their best to make us feel welcome.

This morning, during an integrated exercise with another class, I was speaking with the head of a training division.  We spoke about my desire to find a different position and the fact that I had been denied my transfer.  At that point, he asked if I were looking for another position and explained that he needed additional female instructors in an area for which I am credentialed, trained and enjoy.  This position also includes working in a high-risk environment on a regular basis.  We discussed requirements, salary, cost of living and schools in the area as it would require me moving to this location.  I was then instructed to submit my resume and cover letter, not to the company which contracts the instructors, but directly to him.

Are you kidding me? Just this morning, God and I had a conversation about my ability to remain thankful for as long as I needed to remain in my current position.  I don’t want my discontent and anger to spill over to my staff.  I try to promote the facility for which I work, but when you feel unheard or under-appreciated and used, it is difficult to remain upbeat and present a favorable impression.  And then to have this offered to me?

While I am excited about the possibility, I am also afraid.  Afraid of moving away from family.  Afraid of uprooting my children from their friends.  Afraid of looking for a home and moving.  Afraid of my ex-‘s reaction if I get a job offer.  Afraid of failing if this is not the right job.  

So now, I am choosing to believe that if this is the position that God has intended for me, I will not only receive a job offer, but things for the move will fall into place.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s