Things Got Real Intimate

“Intimacy, as I am using it, is sharing my reality with you.” ~ Keith Miller

Sharing. A concept parents try to instill in their children at an early age. I was no different.

I don’t mind sharing. Usually.

I don’t mind sharing my shower, although I’m rather selective about it. Matter of fact, it’s downright one of the sexiest things to share.

Per my usual routine, I was in the shower (alone) this morning. Or so I thought. Eyes closed, water sluicing down my back, massaging shampoo into my hair. . .

First, there was a faint whir.

Then, a louder buzz.

And then, something brushed against my arm.

Usually armed, I make an exception in the shower. Taking a deep breath and staying calm, I cracked one eye open only to find myself staring into the eyes of a wasp. A voyeuristic wasp even.

Sitting on my arm. Staring at me. Oblivious to the water and steam surrounding us.

This. . . is NOT. . . sexy.

Normally I would take a shoe to this thing, but again, I’m in the shower. Shoeless.

I’m wet. My hands are slippery. Every available item is wet and slippery. My chances of aiming and hitting this thing without dropping my chosen weapon (and probably getting stung in the process) are slim to none.

We had a stare-down and I’m not sure who won. After a few seconds. . .very loooong seconds, the little freak flew over to the top of the shower curtain and perched until I finished.

Sharing intimacy with bugs is not my cup-o-tea I’ve decided.

It Hasn’t Been Easy

“Life is about change.  Sometimes it’s painful.  Sometimes it’s beautiful.  But most of the time, it’s both.” ~ Lana Lang

woman wearing grey long sleeved top photography

Photo by Artem Bali on Pexels.com

Much like the swing poised over the unknown above, significant life changes can be beautiful with a hint of the unknown lurking below the surface.  Moving.  Making friends.  Learning the job.  Getting to know co-workers.  Discovering the ins-and-outs of new neighborhoods.  Changing from nightshifts to daytime shifts. Sleep pattern differences.  Circadian rhythm changes.  Loneliness.  Missing family and friends.

I prepared as well in advance as I could.  I was prepared for the physical and logistical challenges of moving to a new place, a new house.  I could not prepare for the emotional challenges.  THAT was the unknown.  I knew there would be loneliness, yes . . . but to what extent.  On one hand, as an introvert, I need . . .I require . . .time alone to recharge.  On the other hand, as a human, I also need interaction with other people.

Also, I am hardest on myself when it comes to working.  I want it done, and I want it done right.  Financially, I can’t do everything that needs to be done right away and it is frustrating.  Depressing even.  I berate myself when I feel as if I hadn’t gotten as much work done on the house as I think I should.  I constantly have to remind myself that 10 years of vacancy will not be undone in just a few months.

This weekend, I have taken time to write down things that need to be accomplished and there are plenty of things that can be done with the materials I have on hand.  To prevent comparison, I have chosen to limit my exposure to Pinterest and Instagram and instead focus on the things that “I” accomplish on this beautiful old house I have purchased.

I have even taken the liberty to write a home renovator’s version of the 23 Psalm:

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.  He makes me walk slowly thru the lawn and garden section and pause by the fountains and ponds.  He restores my soul as he leads me through the aisles of Lowe’s, for His name’s sake.  Yea, though it appears my house may be haunted, I will fear no evil for He is with me.  My hammer and pry bar are close at hand.  He prepares a table for me (and I will find it eventually — until then, the barstool and kitchen counter will do), He anoints my head with the oil of wisdom and knowledge (not to mention Google and YouTube videos to help me out).  My cup runneth over with blessings.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life as I dedicate this house in His name and live here for the rest of my days.”

Now there are those who would be offended by this maneuvering of the Bible, but sometimes a girl just has to apply the verses to the situation she is in.  When I first contemplated this relocation and job change, I placed the entire situation in God’s hands and told him to “work out the details.”  And he has.  So how foolish would it be of me to not trust him with renovating the house?

I have been here a month, facing the unknowns, and I’m still confident this is where I’m supposed to be.  At this job.  In this house.  In this town.

 

Starting “The Job”

“If you want to be successful in this world, you have to follow your passion, not a paycheck.” ~ Jen Welter, NFL’s first female coach

Starting a new job is always nerve-wracking, at least for me.

Day 1 – met my boss @ the guard shack and successfully avoided puking on his shoes. He asked if I got moved down okay and I replied that it doesn’t take much to move a bar stool and an air mattress. That garnered me a side glance. So I went on, “but next week I get a hot water heater and my mattress and box springs.” He stopped mid-stride and with a look of awe asked, “Girl! You ain’t got hot water?!?!” With some eye-rolling, I shot back, “Sure I do. I put it in pans and boil it. It’s like camping. But in a house. I call it ‘glamping’.”

Day 2 – after getting set up with a cubicle and no CPU, I was stuck in a general location with a computer to finish my ‘death by PowerPoint’ introductory stuff that comes with all new jobs. On my arrival, I dropped my wallet in the parking lot where it remained for 20 minutes and realized that I had put my shirt on backwards. Goooo me!!!

Day 3 — I had to report early to another secure location on the complex. Because I didn’t have my security badge or parking pass, I had to follow another instructor who could verify my ‘kosherness’ to be allowed past the gates. In the process, I created a line of 5 cars waiting to get in stacked behind me while security verified my information. Gooooo me!! (How to make friends and influence people who are now your co-workers — do not make them late.)

Day 4 — Back to the office where my clearance came through to secure a real badge and parking pass. Woo hoo!! Moving along rapidly (which is my usual speed but appears to be warp speed for others) I ran out of things to do and had to fill my time. A co-worker showed me how to ransack empty cubicles for goodies left behind — like pens, pencils, post-it notes, clips. (Did I say ransack? I meant it more as a search-and-recover operation — not really ransacking.)

Day 5 — back to the secure facility where I made myself available to do all types of grunt work and housekeeping duties. Much like the rookie at the fire department tasked with making the coffee, being the low man on the totem pole puts me in line for the mundane jobs. But you know what! He who can be content in little will be content with much.

By Friday night, I was exhausted. But I spent the evening with my neighbor watching Netflix and visiting.

All in all a successful first week.

Adventure

“One way to make the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.” ~ William Feather

And the adventure has begun!

Back-n-forth. Driving between states with purpose and reason and then, finally. . .

Driving to the new home for permanence other than short visits. Tension. Tears. Leaving the kids behind. Knowing they won’t be with me for 11 weeks. A pounding headache that knew no bounds and every relief sought did not work.

For all the excitement, it was difficult to get myself started in the cleaning required but I eventually did the things. . .

Scrubbing 10 years of neglect off cabinet doors and shelves.

Checking email at the library. I don’t have Internet until next Monday.

Hand scrubbing a section of floor — disgusting in it’s filth.

Crying from loneliness and lack of human contacts.

Being approached by a woman at the grocery store who turns out to be my neighbor (and a total hoot!) And having her offer me lunch and a chance to visit to break the monotony of work.

The new job starts Monday and the nerves are settling in. What if I oversleep? What if I’m late due to traffic? What if I throw up on my boss’s shoes? What if I can’t do this? All silly, but the nigglers of fear and anxiety are present.

A chair. I need a chair. Other than a barstool and air mattresses and a small table left by the previous owner, I have no furniture.

My mattress and box springs won’t be delivered for another 1.5 weeks. The same day I asked the plumber to install a new hot water tank. Someone has to be here to sign for the delivery of the sleep stuff, who better than the plumber. Two birds — one stone.

I’m tired. Not sleep deprived for once. Just tired.

And the adventure is under way!