It Hasn’t Been Easy

“Life is about change.  Sometimes it’s painful.  Sometimes it’s beautiful.  But most of the time, it’s both.” ~ Lana Lang

woman wearing grey long sleeved top photography

Photo by Artem Bali on

Much like the swing poised over the unknown above, significant life changes can be beautiful with a hint of the unknown lurking below the surface.  Moving.  Making friends.  Learning the job.  Getting to know co-workers.  Discovering the ins-and-outs of new neighborhoods.  Changing from nightshifts to daytime shifts. Sleep pattern differences.  Circadian rhythm changes.  Loneliness.  Missing family and friends.

I prepared as well in advance as I could.  I was prepared for the physical and logistical challenges of moving to a new place, a new house.  I could not prepare for the emotional challenges.  THAT was the unknown.  I knew there would be loneliness, yes . . . but to what extent.  On one hand, as an introvert, I need . . .I require . . .time alone to recharge.  On the other hand, as a human, I also need interaction with other people.

Also, I am hardest on myself when it comes to working.  I want it done, and I want it done right.  Financially, I can’t do everything that needs to be done right away and it is frustrating.  Depressing even.  I berate myself when I feel as if I hadn’t gotten as much work done on the house as I think I should.  I constantly have to remind myself that 10 years of vacancy will not be undone in just a few months.

This weekend, I have taken time to write down things that need to be accomplished and there are plenty of things that can be done with the materials I have on hand.  To prevent comparison, I have chosen to limit my exposure to Pinterest and Instagram and instead focus on the things that “I” accomplish on this beautiful old house I have purchased.

I have even taken the liberty to write a home renovator’s version of the 23 Psalm:

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.  He makes me walk slowly thru the lawn and garden section and pause by the fountains and ponds.  He restores my soul as he leads me through the aisles of Lowe’s, for His name’s sake.  Yea, though it appears my house may be haunted, I will fear no evil for He is with me.  My hammer and pry bar are close at hand.  He prepares a table for me (and I will find it eventually — until then, the barstool and kitchen counter will do), He anoints my head with the oil of wisdom and knowledge (not to mention Google and YouTube videos to help me out).  My cup runneth over with blessings.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life as I dedicate this house in His name and live here for the rest of my days.”

Now there are those who would be offended by this maneuvering of the Bible, but sometimes a girl just has to apply the verses to the situation she is in.  When I first contemplated this relocation and job change, I placed the entire situation in God’s hands and told him to “work out the details.”  And he has.  So how foolish would it be of me to not trust him with renovating the house?

I have been here a month, facing the unknowns, and I’m still confident this is where I’m supposed to be.  At this job.  In this house.  In this town.


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