“I choose you and I’ll choose you over and over and over. Without a pause. Without a doubt. In a heartbeat, I’ll keep choosing you.” ~ Anonymous
I didn’t choose my children. They were a gift. Each and every one a precious part of me. Throughout the years, we’ve had our ups and downs. It’s been a pleasure to see them grow and mature and marry and become parents themselves.
I did and I do choose my life and my responses to life with my children in mind. Many times when couples go their separate ways, people will urge them to stay together “for the children.” Trust me . . . from experience . . .sometimes it is better for the children if the parents do not stay together.
This past weekend was a blessedly relaxing time – home with my loved ones, sharing meals and chores. Seeing the grandbabies and visiting with my children. Spending time watching the man work on the Jeep, sitting around the firepit, enjoying music and talking while the kiddos relaxed and joined us for a few moments at a time. And of course, relaxing in the hot tub at the end of the day in quiet conversation.
The only snafu to the weekend was an unexpected trip to the auto parts store but . . eh, these things happen.
Choosing to have long distance relationships requires concerted effort to stay in touch. Phone calls, texts, video chats, pictures – all work together to fill in absences. I do not do the video chats, I hate them – the kids chat with each other so they can see their siblings and niece and nephews. Group texts, individual texts, weekly scheduled phone calls – these keep us going between visits. And when I’m there, I am showered with love. Not so much the words, as actions. To me, actions speak louder than any words every will. Anyone can “say” the words, but to back them up with actions means more than uttering the words as it requires conscious effort.
Little things make me the happiest:
- filling the van with gas before we leave
- setting up the coffee maker for me
- having my favorite creamer in the fridge
- grabbing a blanket for me since I’m always cold
- a spontaneous back rub
- even better, a spontaneous foot massage
- waiting to watch a recorded movie I mentioned I’d like to see
None of these is significant, or over-the-top flamboyant, but they are the things that mean the most to me. I know that I have been chosen and am chosen again and again and again.
There’s an old saying that if you love something, you set it free. If it comes back to you it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be. I believe that love allows us the freedom to be who and what we are, whether it’s a job or an individual bent. We have our quirks and idiosyncrasies, but the trust we have in each other allows us to be ourselves in a richer and fuller manner.
While I may be the “boss lady” at home or at work, I can hang up that title when I am at the Missouri home and just be relaxed and cherished. The distance may keep us apart physically, but we work to keep it real and fresh. Another quote states: “Motherhood is a continuous process of letting go — it begins the moment you give birth.” I have had to loosen my grasp on my children as they grow up, giving them the room to grow and develop into the people they are today. I love each and every one of my kiddos and am so thankful they made me a Mom.