“This is life, and I will not lie to you saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that’s a very different thing to say. That is truth.” ~ Brandon Sanderson

This Thanksgiving will be difficult. Not only is it a holiday where families come together, and I will be at work . . . it is also my sister’s birthday. The first birthday since she passed in March. She would have been only 58 this year.

Monday was difficult. I had tamped down the realization that her birthday was coming up this week and then several things happened, albeit minor things, that were frustrating and the grief bubbled up and boiled over.

Anger. Rage. Regret. Sadness. Tears. Hurt.

Tuesday was no less difficult. Wrangling with a court system that cannot accurately calculate associated costs and fees. Arguing with a clerk that a sum had already been paid while she argued that it hadn’t. I was correct and had the records to prove it.

In the midst of paying these court costs, being served with paperwork from a state government entity which lies through its teeth in an effort to make myself appear to be an uncaring, neglectful parent who has abandoned their child. The same child who incurred the court costs I was paying due to her choice to assault me, resulting in her placement in a group home.

Frustration. Anger. Feelings of failure.

However . . .

Feelings are not facts.

I am not a failure as a parent. At 16 years of age, the child who has no mental disability, is responsible for the choices she makes and the consequences that occur.

Frustration and anger are reasonable emotions due to the circumstances in which I found myself. Once the fees were paid and the paperwork received — it was over. Time to take action with the paperwork to move to the next step.

Grief is a fact. We cannot escape it, it is part of life. And while the present day may seem dark, the sun will shine again.

In honor of my sister, I am sharing a recipe for one of her favorite foods. We occasionally used to meet for lunch at Tippins Pie Pantry restaurant. Home of the Tippins pies. No longer a chain of restaurants, Tippins pies are still available for purchase at grocery stores in the Kansas City area. One of the side dishes served at Tippins was their cornbread — slightly sweet, and fluffy due to a mixture of cornbread and yellow cake mix.