“God isn’t interested in watching you exact some performance of personality in order to comply with some crackpot notion you have about how a spiritual person looks or behaves.” ~ Eat, Pray, Love

Fifty-six years now that I have been on this earth. I am not upset, I am not overjoyed. I just am.

Several years ago, I tried to read the book “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. I watched the movie . . or attempted to watch the movie. With both the book and the movie, I could not stay focused long enough to finish either one. About a month ago, however, I ran into a copy of the book in a thrift store and decided to make the attempt again.

Funny how we relate to things in life differently as we age. The first attempt I made at reading was useless as I was busy — busy with children, going to school, working two jobs, housekeeping, homeschooling, getting divorced, trying to stay afloat. How difficult it must have been to try to relate to an author writing about her search for peace and meaning when my own life was anything but peaceful. As I recall, I was about halfway through the book and gave it up, finding it too disjointed with the short anecdotal chapters. The movie lost my attention after the first section where she was in Italy. . . after that I remember seeing some of the scenes but not really paying attention.

This time it is completely different. I am in a situation with no children, with only myself to keep up with as far as housekeeping, working one job, writing PowerPoint presentations as an instructor and having time to meditate and relax. The book is more relatable at this point in my life and I read a short section (or two) each day. This is not a read to ‘get ‘er done’ book, but a read to enjoy and savor the thoughts and feelings the writer invokes. Watching the movie was more enjoyable as well — I wasn’t interrupted by shouts of “Moooomm!” or preoccupations of things that otherwise needed to be done. Instead, I watched the movie, spreading it over two evenings, so I could enjoy the performances between shifts at work. When I have finished the book, I will probably watch the movie again.

Aging is often looked down upon in our present society. Americans do not appreciate the wisdom that is gained in aging. Women are bombarded with anti-aging creams, cleansers, masks, make-up, fillers, massage treatments, rollers, etc to combat “the effects of aging.” There is a sisterhood of women that are embracing the natural changes of aging – letting their hair naturally go grey, avoiding the overuse of make-up — and I am one of them. In the past year, I have felt more free & more attractive by letting my hair go grey. (I’ve never worn much make-up.)

So here’s to the start of another trip around the sun. More opportunities to explore who I am versus the expectations of others ideas of who I should be. More frequent occurrences to be still, have insight, meditate, pray and spend time thinking. More avenues of growth, both personally and professionally.

Here’s to a year of MORE!