“It’s not selfish, but selfless to be first, to be as good as possible to you, to take care of you, to keep you whole and healthy, that doesn’t mean you disregard everything and everyone, but you gotta keep your cup full.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant
I post a lot about self care and with good reason.
I cannot be the best ME if I don’t take care of me. If I am so tired from meeting the needs of everyone around me, except mine, I am soon useless to anyone. I’ve compared self-care to the pre-flight safety speech about the oxygen masks — place your own mask on before assisting anyone else, even a child.
I’ve read stories or posts or meme’s about Mom’s who took their children to a Mother’s Day out program or took them to daycare, even when they were off for the day, so they could go have a looky-loo at the shops, or a cup of coffee, or what have you . . . ALONE! I love my family, I adore them to pieces but I cannot constantly be on the phone, or messaging, or texting.
I have three types of things in my life: wants, needs, requirements.
Wants — those hobbies or interests I’d like to pursue when i have a moment. Reading, sewing, crocheting, crafting.
Needs — sometimes a want can become a need depending on the reason behind it. Taking a class — I need to read to study. Making a specific garment for someone — I need to sew to complete it. Renovation items for the house — need to be done to make the house a comfortable haven for myself and my family.
Requirements — Grocery shopping which leads to cooking which leads to eating. If I don’t eat regularly. . . well, let’s just say it’s not pretty. Sleep, especially when my SLE is acting up is a must. Frequent naps become a thing. Work is how I pay the bills to do the things — I have to work my scheduled hours. Sometimes those working hours increase my need for sleep.
Sometimes, I am in need of quiet solitude and I just don’t want to talk. I have personal things going on that I don’t feel like sharing with anyone and that’s okay. If and when I’m ready to talk, I will. Otherwise I will take my time and space to rest and build up the energy needed to deal with everyone else’s needs.