“Know yourself, love yourself, trust yourself, learn to spend time in your own company and listen to your innermost self.” ~ Etta Sawyer
It’s vitally important to know who you are:
- your beliefs
- your morals
- your ideas
- your integrity
- your goals
- your dreams
and it’s important to know WHY you hold those as yours.
I used to think that if I could just explain myself, my viewpoint, my perspective, whatever you want to call it . . . that I could reach a point of mutual understanding. There were times in relationships where I was “required” to explain myself as to “why” I did what I did. Many of those times weren’t because I had done anything wrong, it was because the other person had a narrative in their head that I was doing something hinky or hiding something. I’ve been accused of cheating, lying, spying, faking, and “having an answer for everything.” Well yeah . . . if you do something you should know why you’re doing it so then it would follow when asked that you would be able to provide a reason which could be construed as “having an answer for everything.” I wasn’t aware that knowing the reasoning behind your actions was a bad thing, but apparently for some, it is.
And perfectly round, Tupperware pressed hamburgers are grounds for divorce as well. Whodathunk it?
I don’t mind explaining something I’m doing in the present for those who are interested in my thought process or in hearing how I reached a conclusion. I will listen to contrary thoughts or evidence. I’m willing to discuss and even debate to a point.
I DO mind explaining events from my past that have no bearing on the present or my future. If I offer them up in trust, that’s one thing, but to have someone question me about events that transpired prior to my knowing them just rankles with me. I was engaged at the age of 17, married by 19 and now at the age of 52, that gives me 35 years of relationships, friendships, and partnerships – both personal and professional.
I have lived a very full, and at times chaotic life. I make no secrets about it. What you see is what you get. This past year, after moving away from toxic relationships in which I had to explain every little thing I did, I trust myself enough to know that I owe no one an explanation for my life.