Random Thoughts · Uncategorized

Adjusting my Sails

“You can’t change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails.” ~ Unknown

love romantic bath candlelight
Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

Pacing myself is a new phenomena, but then being 52 is a fairly new phenomena as well.  Not that age as anything to do with anything, but I am feeling it in my bones.

I am not OLD by any means!  With age comes wisdom, and I need not be hell-bent to accomplish everything at a breakneck pace.  For years, I pushed myself to be everything and do everything for everyone, now it’s my turn.  I was exhausted, physically and mentally.  Moving was the first step to mental healing, learning to take time to relax has been a bit slower in coming.

There are things I would like to accomplish here at home.  And I will.  Just not overnight.

Today was an awesome day.  I taught a group of enthusiastic students on a subject near and dear to me.  I was asked this morning if I were excited about teaching today, and I feel bad that my response may have dampened the enthusiasm of my dear one.  I tried to explain as best I could — I am excited about the content, I love sharing knowledge, but the thought of being “on” in front of a group of people is not exciting in and of itself.  I pull a lot of energy from deep within to be able to do so, and when I am done I feel as though I have been hit by a Mack truck.  It is exhausting.  We had fun, there was a good rapport between myself and the students, they were interested and involved in the discussion, and all I wanted to do when I was finished was lay down and sleep.

Actually, when I got home this evening, I changed clothes, and promptly laid down for a short nap.  Dinner was leftovers easily heated in the microwave, and then a movie on Amazon Prime, a nice hot bath with a combination of eucalyptus and peppermint oils, a cup of hot chocolate and this post prior to closing my eyes in sleep.

Pacing myself is not slowing down, it is choosing my battles between what needs to be done and what I am capable of performing each day.  Sails, for today, are adjusted and closed, it’s time to drift with the current for the evening.

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